The Back to School Season

I’d be lying if I told you the Back To School Season didn’t still impact me. I’m coming to accept it always will.

Seeing parents post back-to-school pictures – sometimes with kids that would have been in MY CLASS, makes my heart hurt with pangs of regret. Why regret, when I did nothing wrong – your guess is as good as mine. Soon, there will be no more families I *should have* had their children in my class.

It does not matter how confident I am that providing families with the knowledge and power to homeschool is right where I’m supposed to be. I see God’s hand in my life plainly.

I recently saw a short video clip of Lisa Kudrow discussing the early episodes of Friends… At one point while just hanging out, the cast was discussing their biggest *got fired* stories.

Ms. Kudrow had been fired from Frasier – and someone pointed out how it was a GOOD THING she had been released from that show, or she would NOT have been cast to Friends. WOW, just WOW!

Overall, I am so HAPPY with my life right now. But with certain triggers, I can bounce around like a pinball.

Yesterday a profound memory popped up on Facebook. The memory brought me joy and CLARITY. At the time it was originally posted, I was describing a dream I had about work, and the things that occurred on a *typical* day.

I look at that dream now, in hindsight, and remember the burden I felt being responsible for so many administrative tasks. That burden eventually lead me to stand up for myself, resulting in my termination.

Coincidentally, I received a personal text message from a family that was thinking of me and wanted to remind me of the positive impact I had on their children. That message filled me with joy one minute and grief as deep as the Grand Canyon the next.

Today I was sitting in the bank, discussing my account with a bank employee – and from behind one of my OG students (from my first 6 years of teaching, a proud lip-ripping survivor) popped out and gave me a huge hug – calling me, Miss Serra. I would NEVER have seen her, yet she STOPPED to say a quick hello.

Why are these moments aligning? And more importantly why do I engage in thoughts and feelings that are painful? I mean I would have left teaching, eventually? Or would I have????

I certainly made a POSITIVE impact on plenty of children and their families over 19 years of teaching.

It is as if I have multiple personalities. Miss Serra and Mrs. Gandara the most awesome 4th-grade teacher (and some other grades too!) are gone. I deeply mourn their loss as Christy is reborn.

But the reality is I have LOST NOTHING – Miss Serra and Mrs. Gandara the teacher were ESSENTIAL to the foundation of exactly who I am and who I am meant to be.

If I had seen the circumstances of my *retirement* from teaching coming…I would have done everything in my power to stop it. – I would not have understood the questions that incident answered, and the dreams it has enabled me to fulfill.

Every road leads to NOW. I must feel these feelings COMPLETELY so I can move past them FULLY.

Here’s hoping time does heal all wounds.

Until Next time, be well my friends.

• Christy

Burn the Ships

3 years ago when I called my dad to tell him I had just been released from my teaching contract, he empowered me in a way only a loving parent could. I repeat his words over and over to myself every day. 

You are so much more than just a teacher. 

Indeed I am. 

Over the past 3 years I have been on a journey of self discovery, finding my purpose in life. 

The answer to that question is not as complicated as all the self help books make it. 

My purpose is to be happy. To be happy in every aspect of my life. That’s it. 

Every day I wake up and do things that make me happy. Even the laundry, because walking around naked does NOT make me happy! 

I’m still working through my  tendency to allow fear be in the drivers seat of my life. On one particular day when fear took hold, I decided it was time to apply for employment outside the home again. 

Each position I applied for contacted me, interviewed me, and offered me a position. My awesomeness knew no bounds. 

What I realized however was it was not time to return to being an employee. It was time to burn my boats. 

This comes from the legend of an ancient commander, some say it was Cortes,  who was about to face an army far larger than his own. This commender knew fear was the greater enemy.  He ordered his ships burned once his soldiers were ashore – by removing the boats he removed the possibility of retreat.

I respectfully declined each job offer – I’ve burned my boats. There is no turning back. I will either succeed or I will fail. I do not have a backup plan. 

I choose success, just as that ancient army did. I will not stop 3 feet from gold. 

I’m Christy Gandara – CEO of Happy Hive Homeschooling

Families that work with me are transforming their mindset about homeschooling.

They are empowered to run their own schools with clarity and confidence.

Homeschoolers who work with me implement customized curriculum designed to inspire lifelong learning.

If you know someone who could benifit from working with a Homeschool Mindset Coach – PLEASE REFER THEM

Until next time – be well my friends.

• Christy